True Compliments

This "assignment" has made me think about the whole idea 

of giving and receiving compliments.

For me, the best compliments are those that let me know I've made

a connection of some sort...that something I did or said

touched someone else in a positive way.

"I appreciated the way you managed that group."

"What you said made me think."

It seems to be true for me that compliments including the words,

"You are so _____"

are often harder for me to receive because they put a label on me,

one that either feels contrary to who I know myself to be

or one that feeds an identity need.
~~~
Karla reminded me of my desire for connection.
So a compliment that indicates that a connection has been 
made is one that truly "connects" with me!
~~~
I haven't given one conscious compliment yet this week.
I realize my "wild elephant" takes me on all kinds of
runabouts--excursions into thought and ideas--
rather than me training the "elephant" to focus back 
on the practice of actually giving compliments.
Staying in my head is a familiar avoidance technique;
I'd rather analyze than do the practice.
And I can find all kinds of reasons why this is acceptable.
~~~
The Purpose of a Compliment:
Who is the compliment for?
Aren't I getting something out of giving a compliment?
Isn't the way a compliment is received dependent 
upon the receiver's programming?
What kind of compliment has the most potential
to be received in a positive, supportive way?
One that affirms the aspects of a
person's "being" that he/she most values,
that he/she sees as closest to his/her heart's desire.
(Tricia)
~~~
Making Connections